[note: I don't proof-read. Deal with it]
Alright... 2 whiffs to report, both of the occurring on a road trip to Wyoming. Now I'll admit that neither of the incidents portrays me in a very flattering manner, so be nice and realize that this is simply here for your amusement.
oh yeah. One more thing. Whenever you read about me screaming, yelping or shrieking, add about 3 octaves to the tone that you would otherwise imagine.
Whiff-1 - Hiking in Idaho
It's about 10:00am and I'm in a campground about an hour and a half north of Boise, ID. Today the plan was to get in a bit of kayaking on the Payette river and then drive over to Jackson, Wyoming for my friend's wedding in two days. Since I have a triathlon that I am competing in the following weekend, I convince myself to put the kayaking on hold and go for a run first. Ok, where am I going to run to?
The only couple of roads to run on were filled with trucks and cars driving fast and recklessly around blind corners with very small shoulders, so that option is out. I check at the park entrance and see that the $5 that I paid to camp there is not only being used to clean the outhouses, but also is being used to maintain the hiking trails nearby. Seeing only a cartoon map of Idaho and poster warning of the venomous snakes in the area I decide that I would just wander the campground a bit looking for a sign or an obvious path.
For future reference, "obvious path" is very subjective.
Alright, the campground is basically surrounded to the west by a ridge with what looks like several dirt paths coming down from the top of the ridge. I wasn't sure which of these "paths" were actual trails and which were mini landslides or streambeds. I pick the one that looks most trail-like and start hiking up. The plan was to get to the top of the ridge and look around for a reasonable landmark to run to and then run back and call it good. I begin hiking up the path and feel confident at this point that I am on a real trail. However, the trail does go around the corner to a rocky outcropping.
[Voice inside my head]:
"Hmm... I bet those snakes that were mentioned on that poster live in those rocks. Of course I've never bothered to read a book about wildlife, my intuition tells me to stay away from there."
Ok. I switchback before the rocks and continue climbing up to the top of the ridge. At this point the terrain has gotten considerably steeper and the ground considerably less stable- dry dirt and pine needles. At several points I have to put a hand down for stability as I'm stepping over a fallen log. I'm also keeping my eyes out for snakes remembering several times that I've been unaware and nearly stepped on one.
So as I'm climbing up this one part, I put my left hand down and instantly a brown snake darts out in front of me about 2 feet from my face. Sitting safely here at my desk in Seattle I can say with 95% confidence that it was not a snake from the venomous snakes poster and with its small size, it is even less intimidating. However, having a snake about 2 feet from your eyes, the "objects 2 feet from your face may appear 10 times larger" effect has a remarkable impact in your decision making.
With lightning-quick reflexes, I leap about 3 feet back from the snake instantaneously presuming that it is a king-cobra-mamba-rattler. 3 feet back is a fairly decent jump back, the horizontal distance was fine. But if you remember me saying, the steep was kind of slope [EDITORS NOTE: Actually I said the slope was kind of steep, but I just accidently wrote the wrong thing. Thanks to careful reader, Guy Cirino, I made note of the error]. Unfortunately blogger won't let me draw a picture, but assuming you are semi-intelligent you can figure the geometry on this one. Angle of slope ~45 degrees. Jump back 3 feet. I'm about 3 feet in the air vertically as a result.
Luckily, and I mean LUCKILY, I happened to land in a soft dirt patch that managed to hold my feet in place when I landed instead of me jumping back, landing on a shrub or a fallen tree and rolling out of control down the hill until I hit a tree or some flat land. Oh yeah... Remember that shriek that we talked about earlier... Toss one of those in there.
"Well, maybe I'll go for that run later. Let's get back to the car."
I start heading back down the trail when another snake slips across and into a bush.
I rush past and head for the part of the slope that is least likely to have a snake. (I'm not really sure how I decided which part this would be, though).
"ok... Almost back... No more snakes"
a mouse scurries past the front of shoes by about 2 feet. I do a little hip-hop dance and let out some unintelligible words at the sight of the mouse.
"damnit! Nothing else move! Okay!?!"
I get back down to the parking lot. Take a quick glance around just to make sure that nobody was down there and saw me. I assume not because I figured I would have probably heard laughter if they saw me dancing around the side of the ridge making all sorts of weird noises and screams and curses in the process.
Screw nature!
Next whiff...
Whiff-2 - The Truck incident.
It's about 12:30am and I'm cruising up the Snake River canyon towards Jackson. I was...
-B
posted by B @ 3:44 PM
